2002-03-23 / Columnists

Boyle-ing Points by Kevin Boyle

A Bunch Of This, That, And The Other Thing

I almost missed The Wave's deadline this week---I was still trying to finish reading that letter in the Bag of Mail---the one written by "Four Concerned Parents" at PS 114. A lot of "inside baseball" as they say, in that one. The writers spent more than a thousand words not naming names and not naming themselves. I figure the people involved know who's who and who did what so why send it to the newspaper? Wish the editors at The Wave would edit. I figure the letter could've been shortened to: four parents really mad at bullies.

I mean, I wish they'd say who the bullies were so the rest of us lambs could stand a chance. I know, recriminations, intimidation, and a bunch of other ations. Still.

Don't mind me as I generalize, but it was my experience---in my stint as Mr. Chips--- that the more parents were involved in the politics of a school the worse the student was. Kid fails a test---blame the teacher. The kid starts trouble---the teacher can't control the class or some other kid started it. Kid eats too many Oreos---he has a self-esteem problem the school is not addressing.

Of course, somehow, the same poor students often had the best science project. You know, the kind they're supposed to do on their own (with no or just minimal parental assistance). The same kids who can barely pass a test all of sudden show up with a nuclear reactor they built "on their own." Pretty easy to smell the parents behind those projects . Parents. You can't live with â018em. You can't shish-kabob â018em.

Boyle-ing Over:

Michael Jackson used to look like Diana Ross now he looks like Liza Minelli---or she looks like him. Or am I confusing things because I picked up Transvestite Weekly at the Golden Video store? Dorothy Dunn, Wave columnist to the stars, please set me straight.

**Because of an expected water shortage, some city officials and public watchdogs are urging citizens to flush their toilets less often. Who knew my kids were actually conserving water all these years?

**The towers of light at the WTC were a dud at this distance. Reminded me of Halley's Comet. You hear so much about something then when you see it you have to ask, is that it? I did get yet another reminder of my mental shortcomings---for some reason, I figured the light would simply end at 110 stories (not grow weaker and weaker). Shows you what a physicist I am.

**Some people only stop in Broad Channel when they're pulled over for speeding. And even then, they keep the motor running. Well, it might not be a bad idea to broaden your horizons and have a look-see at this handsome hamlet. And there might not be a better time to visit than on April 27th when the town holds its eighth annual Little League Parade at 10 am. The parade, kicking off at 17th Road and Cross Bay Boulevard, will honor Hometown Heroes---the folks who've done so much for us all.

**Speaking of hometown heroes. No one will forget the turnout of New York's Bravest at Richie Allen's funeral last week. It's a sight to see when uniformed mourners line the streets, literally six and seven deep. Just as unforgettable was the pain etched in the face of Richie's uncle, Bobby McGuire, as he rode the back of the rig, the one carrying the casket. God bless Richie, his family, and his extended family. Richie will not only be greatly missed but he'll be remembered. Norman Ochs, legendary Rockaway Beach sports figure, made a donation to a scholarship fund in Richie's name. Others have done the same.

**Play Ball! Marty Feeney of the aforementioned Channel tells me he's trying to start a baseball team for young men, 16-18 years old. For just $85 the guys'll get uniforms, insurance, and play against some great competition in South Queens. Teenagers have too much time on their hands? Get â018em to play some hardball.

**Not only did Ed Gannon in the Bag of Mail call me a bird brain for wondering about dead birds he also suggested he might be the only one who actually reads this column. Well, fellow bird brains, T.J. Carroll and Zack Dunn, have come forward and admitted they read this column, too. Once they turn 15, they'll probably dump me.

**Tsk, tsk. How â018bout Trish? Not much gets by Elio Velez, Wave sports editor, but when he highlighted locals playing in the NCAA tourney (Clare Droesch and Kevin Fitzgerald) he forgot to give props to Tricia Tubridy, starting guard for Harvard University which earned its way into the NCAA with a 13-1 league record. Yep, Harvard---where brains and ballplaying apparently do mix. Although Harvard lost its tourney opener to North Carolina, the Crimson had a memorable season going 22-6 overall. Before leading Harvard again next year, Trish will probably show her stuff in this summer's Summer Classic at St. Francis.

The admissions committee at Harvard apparently did not hold it against Tricia that she attended high school at Christ the King. (Take it easy, Jill Cook---only kidding).

**Lousy looking housing is like pornography---I can't define it but I know it when I see it. On one end of yechiness are the houses in Neponsit that look like Grant's Tomb. The other end of the yech spectrum are the things going up across the street from Beach Channel High School, the site of the old little league field. Maybe the builders are trying to achieve a certain Florida look---the houses certainly look like trailers without wheels. I don't care if they're "affordable housing"---they're pre-fab and look it. They've ruined the look of the overgrown, uncared for baseball field. Maybe another Hurricane Andrew will take care of them before anyone moves in.

**Katelyn Lawler leads Bishop Kearney into the NY State "C" Championships this weekend up in New Paltz. Katelyn will leave Kearney as one of its all-time leading scorers. She's money from the outside and takes the ball to the hoop like nobody's business. And she's an excellent pick-pocket on the defensive end. I hear she might retire and not play in college but if she changes her mind some college coach will be thrilled.

**Timmy Geary's got something to put on his resume that a lot of us wish we had: Golden Gloves experience. The Beach 125th Banger fought in the tough 175-pound division. Timmy took a loss but he gets a big salute for brass cajones.

It's a bit like Kevin Fitzgerald's NCAA experience…sure, his team got pasted but he played in the tourney! He got to play, the lucky stiff. Congrats to both.

**You know how you hear about all this college scholarship money available? All you gotta be is a left-handed, three-eyed cellist born in Ulster County. And so much the better if you're Native American. Well, I just heard of something called the Youth Foundation---the president tells me: Please alert your kids about YF.  They must be B students or better, planning on attending an accredited 4 year school, have financial need, and have contributed to their community.  The scholarship process is closed for 2002/2003 school year, but we will accept inquiries for 2003/2004 academic year September 1st through December 15th to request application forms which have to be completed and returned by March.   The address is Youth Foundation, Inc., 36 West 44th Street, Room 716, NYC 10036. Sounds like it's worth a stamp. If you pursue this, let me know, good or bad.

**Another scholarship is available at St. Joseph's College in Brooklyn. Now here's where we can take advantage of restrictions. The scholarship---a four-year, full free ride---is available to a student from Rockaway. Rockaway only. Students have to be "academically eligible." That could be you (or someone you know). Give a call to Teresa Larocca in the Admissions Office at St. Joe's, 718-636-2147, —and tell her Kevin Boyle at The Wave sent you---my name's not mud with her, yet----and she'll provide the details.

**This goes much longer I may have to sign this One Windbag Parent.


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