2001-12-08 / Columnists

The Inner Voice

By Marilyn Gelfand

By Marilyn Gelfand

When we’re feeling "down in the dumps" for a while for no apparent reason, it could be because we are mourning our unrealized expectations. We often write scripts in our own heads of how we think life should be, and then believe it will be so. The circumstances in life, other people’s conflicting scripts in their heads or change within myself may be present to alter the course of life’s direction. We set things into motion, and then expect them to happen. In reality, it is amazing to think how often life does go according to plan. We don’t control very much, so it’s understandable that things can go awry. When we have to shift gears, we may understand intellectually, but inside there’s an adjustment that often requires a mourning over our loss of plan. Some people take longer than others to adjust to what we hoped for just isn’t going to happen.

If we are flexible, we may be open enough to understand why we haven’t gotten what we wanted, and perhaps life has a reason to take a different approach. Perhaps we forgot to take into account the feelings of others in this matter. It could be a question of timing, etc. There’s always something to learn from the altering of our path. The question of how long we resist is important because with resistance comes despair, anger, weakness of the physical body or confusion. Rather than resist, it’s often better to just see what’s happening in reality. Making a switch in your thoughts, will allow your energy to flow more peacefully. With acceptance, a different energy comes in. It’s an acknowledgment of the fact that I don’t control everything. Now, I can see a bigger picture than just my own wants. From a larger vantage point, it may make sense. In hindsight, it’s always easier to understand why something happened the way it did. In the present moment, it requires steadfastness, openness, flexibility and an appreciation of a bigger picture of reality.

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