2001-08-25 / Sports

The Waldheim Report: Jamaica Bay Softball League

The Waldheim Report: Jamaica Bay Softball League

By Corinne Anne Waldheim

I’d like to thank all my fans that have been asking me for another article…and especially those who said it while they were still sober! Regular season JBSL play should have concluded two weeks ago but inclement weather delayed post-season commencement until last week.

August 12th Games

The Brewers dropped two to the Muggers, 18-9 and 5-1. The teams, scheduled to play in Broad Channel, were forced off their waterlogged field to compete in Rockaway at the rosy-smelling Beach Channel digs.

"Being that we had only three outfielders and two very inexperienced ball players, I think we played the best teams pretty well.  We played those games hard even though they didn’t matter to us.  My personal success at the plate (3-4 in the first game and 2-3 in the second) was all due to the bling-bling," said Seany A.

Ahearn added that this year’s Mike Nolan Annual Barathon, held a few weeks ago, was the best ever. Former Oriole JP Quinn was 4-4 with three RBI. O’Neill was there for the free beer. Skinny Pat, Nerd Puppet and Tubbs all contributed. Malloy also made a nice play on a line drive, which might have decapitated him otherwise. Marty Feeney Jr. was 2-2 with a RBI. Quinn’s karaoke stint at the Circle later that evening drove many a paying customer toward the door. Speaking of the Irish Circle, I hope they bring the Pat McGuire Band back real soon!

Adding Orioles to their squad now makes it official that the Brewers are the best party team in the league. I must add best dressed also. I hope the Hawaiian shirts carry over to next season!

Offensive standouts for the Muggers were Bo Malone, Itchy Hanning, Kenny Grey and Mo Gonzalez.

Skippy Nocerino on Bo’s prodigious bomb, "That ball is still going to Manhattan."

"Two stewardesses on that flight," added Grey, who scored twice and knocked in three. Itchy knocked in the other two. Said Hanning, "Mo finally got a hit, I was all pumped up!" Gonzalez actually had two hits on the day. A G-string was reported by several of Rob Gallagher’s teammates when his shorts road up sliding into second.

In the next set, the Cardinals took the field against the Mudsharks. The Sharks took two, 7-2 and 6-4. One source, which has requested anonymity, said they won with half a team. Bobby Steiner and Donald Keller hit well. Kenny delivered stellar defense at short.

Cardinal pitcher Matty Conklin claims Jackowski is 0-19 in his career against the Cardinal ace, "It must have been his birthday. He started two games." Jackowski took a direct flight around the bases do to a record setting comedy of errors by the Cardinals’ defense.

Gator was heard warning Steiner, who looked as if he would take off for second, "You get back there! You can’t beat this cannon!"

Congratulations to Mudshark couple Chris McCarthy and Michelle Ott who are now engaged! The Rockies took two, 4-1 and 9-6.

August 19th Games

The Muggers defeated the Misfits, 11-2 and 10-2. Boba pitched great and Jimmy Trudden stood out offensively. Nocerino, who violated curfew, struck out AGAIN. He bought two cases to make up for it but said, "The Skipster is fed up!"

Loneshark Joey Ernst was the only shark left at Grassy’s yet again. He suffered greatly for it (see photo). His team beat the Angels 15-2 and 16-3. Everyone played well.

The Rockies swept the Assassins. "They were done by 11:45," said Jimmy Costas.

Victorious were the Daggers over the Cardinals, 7-2 and 8-3. Sergei Martynuk saw limited action. The Daggers claim they are not associated with Jimmy Walsh, "he goes where the beers are. "The Daggers had excellent defense," said Leo Chavanne, Jr.

This Sunday, (I think) the Mudsharks play the Rockies and the Daggers contest the Muggers. Each series will decide who advances to the Championship on September 8th.

Finally, I must apologize to Becky Monahan, who was left out of last week’s ladies softball article: O’s Raisins missed you too!


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