Rockaway Beach Volleyball
By John Sica
This weeks results: Coppersmiths 5 Gen X&Y 0, Abbracciemento’s 5 Just Healy’s 0, Federation 1 Jameson’s 4, Connely’s 5 Psychic Friends 0, Filmore Ins 3 Kerry Hills 2, IBK 5 Maimomides 0, Dig This 3 TNT 2, Fisheads 4 Beach House 1, Beach Club 3 Tap & Grill Island 2, Sharks 3 Tap & Grill 2, Jerry’s kids 4 Sons of Beaches 1, It’s All Good 4 Your Mothers Team 1
As the playoffs approach, Coppersmith’s has established itself as the team to beat. Fillmore Insurance and Dig This have knocked Kerry Hills out of the top spot, and It’s All Good keeps rolling. Let the good times roll.
Coppersmith’s has shown why they are the class of the league demolishing Gen X&Y 5-0 and sending them packing to third place. Without Craig, the team was able to use their best front line of Scotty and Claire and took Gen X&Y easier than last week when they struggled with Craig and Marie leading off. The excellent play of Joe McManus, Brian Carey and Marie (Claires sister) in the front line was a great substitution for the missing superstar. We hope the Carey’s are having a great time on their Cruise and we wish them a happy 10th anniversary. Claire was so happy to be undefeated for the night until there was a challenge of fours after the match, and her sister Marie took two from her, along with Rich Whalen, Jimmy Mack and the elder Sica. At least Marie planned on showering after the match.
Kathy Stanis (Patty Melt’s sister) wants everybody to know that if she didn’t stroll on the boardwalk twelve years ago and ask Bob Fash if they needed females, the sisters wouldn’t be here today. Hence, Patty Melt, our fearless leader would not be running things so smoothly today. The family tradition continues as her son Brian (the shovel) is now playing for Connely’s and is not trying to fill Coach’s over inflated shoes. Happy Birthday to Kathy!
Miss Melt’s team, Abbracciemento’s, moved into second with a 5-0 sweep over Just Healy’s. It was reported last week that Joe McGivney had ended his twelve year "serve in" streak when he hit one out. This week we found out why. Joe is now spending his free time on blocking drills, and not on practicing his serve. His two roof blocks took the heart out of Healy’s. More on Healy’s below. Fillmore Insurance, after collectively carrying Tim (I’m my own biggest cheerleader) Devlin, has finally made it to the top of the heap. Tim was really hitting the ball hard tonight. Maybe that’s because he is finally getting it up. Tim how’s your wrist? (Una we hear your wrist’s are fine). Fillmore would like to thank Tim for keeping this difficult team together with his charisma and fantastic play. They took three out of five tonight against the Hills. There were a lot of Blarney Swears between Tim and Kerry Hills. Tim is the Irish star pupil of Coach. Jim Sluyk’s shorts tonight look like he’s ready to try out for the Fire Island Pines Volleyettes next year. Sunday Tea Dance, be there or be square. We all know the winner of musical chairs that occurred at the post game party in the Irish Circle. John of Fillmore, got the best lap dance of his life. The other "winner" got a five-ounce bottle of champagne.
After losing five more games this week, the Psychic Friends were overheard saying, "Marie’s sister’s-Claire is right. We do suck!" There is a rumor out there that George Johnson turned in his surfboard for an engagement ring this week. Did he make the right choice?
The Son’s of Beaches have shown great improvement over the year, unfortunately they lost tonight 4-1 to Jerry’s Kids. The Kids still are searching for Georgie. Jerry’s Kids want to report about one of their players, but they are still waiting for him to do something newsworthy. His initials are BK. Maybe this will satisfy him. There were great volleys back and forth all night, attesting to the improved play of the SOB’s. And Bonnie still wants her $2 or you’ll hear about it next week in the Wave.
There is obvious dissension amongst the "Its All Good" team of the Blue Division, as was evidence tonight by half of the team failing to show up for the game. Coach Bugsy could be seen flipping out and waiting to be carted off to Bellveue, As a result of this lack of team spirit, the team forfeited the game to lack of players. This was probably due to the fact that half the team thought they were cut, or traded. Ricky "Cement Shoes" Flanaghan, showed up despite his teams attempt to bury him. It appears they used Plaster of Paris instead of real concrete. Timothy (TBG, the Mailman, who needs Murph) Murphy expressed his real concern about the upcoming playoffs against the Irish Circle and the Moroney clan. Rumor has it that Murphy will be wearing a wig and posing as a one of the girls for the upcoming playoffs. The Circle doesn’t mind. The Circle sends its regards to Coach Bugsy in hopes his stay at Bellvue is brief.
For Tap and Grill Island, Jackie’s chest kept hitting the net causing a violation, losing valuable points. Too bad Jackie is a man. Maybe he should get a "Man-Zeere" from Kramer. Tap and Grill managed to salvage two wins despite his buxom nature. Maybe the Tap and Grill should end their tradition of doing funnels of beers for their mistakes. Obviously, Jackie’s many funnels go right to his chest.
Della, next time you throw a temper tantrum, make sure you hit your target, Liam and not Noel. Or better yet, just don’t kick sand, have another beer and lighten up like they do in Co.Galway. As we all know Co. Galway beat Co. Cork this weekend. Gerry Adams tough luck. Maureen Monaghan won that bet on Galway and will be treating the team next week. (if she gets a job).
Healy’s AKA "Just In the Crapper", dropped another bomb this week, losing all five to Abbracciemento’s which puts them in sixth place. Most of the losses were team captain Bobby Whelans fault. His screaming at the team "just give me the damn ball" was reminiscent of Keyshawn Johnson, another New Yorker who wore out his welcome. By the way Jameson’s took four.
The Rugby Fisheads took another four from the Beach House, finishing an 8-2 run over the freelance firemen in a two weeks period. Without a league sanctioned referee, Dennis "the fire is out" McClain was quoting rule 5 section 3 paragraph 6 which clearly states a "bump" begins when the sperm hits the egg, and there is no disputing it. Refs please come back. Dan Boyle receives kudos for his three inch vertical leap and Kevin #2 receives honorary mention for his excellent on court presence without injuring the women.
The following poem was presented at the Henry Wadsworth Longfellow competition at Harvard University last week.
"Coach was the name of the man
Who was kicked in the face with some sand.
He buried his shirt
In a large pile of dirt
And he was never to be seen again."
And finally some party news. After the finals on August 11th, there will be a Fort Tilden Beach Party, from 6p.m. to midnight. There will be Open Tap and beverages, D.J. Tubs, volleyball, a live band and much more. The cost is only $25 with the proceeds going to our volleyball league. The end of the season party is on Saturday August 25th at the Knights of Columbus, 7:30 to 12:00. Everybody is welcome, not only volleyball players. Details will follow. Next weeks party is at the Tap and Grill.