2001-07-14 / Columnists

The Hollywood Report: with Garissa Thompson

Well hello there! Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Garrisa Thompson, and I am what they call a gossip columnist, baby. I’m a six foot, five inch, 200-pound drag queen that has followed the Hollywood scene for years, and know the business inside and out. This is my first shot at writing a column, and I hope I will become a regular fixture with this paper. But enough about moi, let’s get to the dish.

My sources tell me that Jennifer Lopez is really hot over the statements made by two New York City radio DJ’s from HOT 97. They had made some derogatory remarks about her after she mentioned the "n" word in one of her newly released songs. The DJ’s refuse to retract any of the statements made, and it looks as though this could get really ugly. I’ll keep you posted on this one.

Despite reports William Shatner will not be doing anymore Star Trek films. He is so happy to be away from the original cast members, due to some vicious catfights that took place behind the scenes, that he has no intention of working with them again. Live long and prosper, huh? I don’t think so, baby.

Next Friday, July 20, will mark the 28-year anniversary of the death of martial arts superstar Bruce Lee. A number of Hollywood producers are considering doing more films about this legend of kung fu, and there is a buzz around town that a remake of the 60’s classic "The Green Hornet" is on the horizon. Who will portray Lee has not been determined, but I hope he’s as delicious as Jason Scott Lee was in "Dragon, The Bruce Lee Story." Honey, he can chop my "suey" anytime.

Okay ladies, and guys, you can relax. Tom Cruise is not sick or dying! There is a photo that appeared in most of the daily newspapers, in New York, showing Cruise with a shaved head. The fact of the matter is he clipped his gorgeous locks because of his latest role in an upcoming film. Thank God! Can you imagine if Tommy had to run around looking like Yul Bryner or David Carradine from the old "Kung Fu" television series? "Snatch the pebbles from my hand." Girl, you better snatch up a bottle of Rogaine and get to work on rubbing that head.

I recently caught Adam West, the television icon from the 60’s television series "Batman", at a fundraiser and he was such a hoot. I asked him if he would do the "Batdance" for me one time, but he just rolled his eyes and walked away. As he vanished into the crowd I yelled, "I’ll bet you’d do it for Catwoman!

Burt Ward, who played "Robin", was off in a corner trying to get people to take his autographed pictures. I told him he would probably have better luck if he put on those "Robin boots". He lunged at me, and I hauled ass girlfriend. "That’s why you almost got eaten by a giant clam!" I yelled.

We seem to be seeing less and less of Slyvester Stallone in films these days. I guess father time has finally caught up to Sly because he certainly can’t do anymore "Rocky" films. What was the last one he did? "Rocky 25"? All of his recent films bombed faster than "Scary Movie 2", and that movie sucked! Maybe he should go on tour with N’SYNC….as a roadie! Good luck Sly, baby.

I have to go and get my nails done, so I’ll catch up with you soon. Until then, don’t be mean…pinch a Queen! Bye baby.


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