2001-07-14 / Columnists

The Inner Voice by Marilyn Gelfand

So much of what we do is determined by what we think. Then we look at others and believe that they think and behave in a similar manner. We can’t understand why things go wrong because we often assume that someone else sees it the same way we do. What we value most is what is expressed through our behavior. It is often difficult to believe that some people use words as tools to create a desired end result. We do expect this of lawyers and salesmen, but not of our close relationships. Actions are more important indicators of who a person is, but again we don’t always know what motivates someone to act in a certain way. I have discovered that what some people tell me is often not true, and that they do things because of their own desired end results even if it seems to be a kind act. However, there are people I know who have no hidden agendas, and are truly in the moment to open themselves with a giving heart. These are the people I choose to be with. Sometimes it is easy to be fooled by others, but eventually instincts point out when something doesn’t seem to be quite right. When you feel that you must be crazy or you just don’t get it, that is the time to step back and take a look at who is doing what to you. It is easy to detach from someone’s energy if you can observe it without emotion.

When there is a feeling of discomfort, first ask that person or observe what you believe is what that person truly considers important. Often a unique perception becomes clear when it is explained. A person who cares about you wants you to understand where he’s coming from. He won’t mind saying it again until you get the message. We must often take our own blinders off. Sometimes we get the clues, but refuse to believe in our own intuition. We prefer to regard someone as different than what he is because it feels better to see the world through "rose-colored" glasses. When someone has a hidden agenda, he may be listening to our conversations, repeating what we want to hear or hitting a vulnerable spot to achieve a desired end result. Part of the spiritual path is to recognize and discriminate what surrounds us as well as not be pulled and pushed by others or our own emotions. The ultimate way to know is to remain cleansed in energy and trust in yourself.


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