2001-01-13 / Columnists

Inner Voice

By Marilyn Gelfand

We must always remember that there are as many different points of view as there are people. How many people want to make each other happy, what is expected of another especially during a holiday can be a source of great stress. We want everything to be special and perfect, but whose ideas do we follow? Our own notions, what’s on television, etc. as well as all the demands of life all play a part in how we perceive ourselves. What’s enough, what’s good and how we show our love all are relative. Also many people look for signs to see if they themselves are loved by the amount of expense or effort involved at holiday time. Resentment may also build because of all the hard work, as weighed next to appreciation from others.

The best way to celebrate is really to make yourself happy. Figure out what works for your lifestyle and discuss it with others who you celebrate with. Tell everyone how much you love him or her and what you think. Share ideas if it is just too difficult to spend so much money or to cook as extravagantly as usual. Just make sure everyone knows what everyone else thinks.

It’s good to acknowledge our past year of ups and downs—people who were "good" to us, and those who gave us trouble. Allow yourself to be healed by letting your anger go. Release that person into his own path. The balance of life automatically brings to each person what they need or deserve as growth opportunities.

Best wishes for joyful fun. Hope you had a happy holiday season.

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