2000-08-19 / Sports

Alternative Softball Report

Well it's Wednesday morning and I just dismissed the Sandman. I just signed on and shockingly noticed that my man Johnny "By The Book" did not scan me the pictures for this article. Hopefully we will make deadline as I will trek down to The Wave. I’m a bit groggier than usual as Butch and myself put in a good seven hours at Shea Stadium, watching the "amazins" take two from the pitching
poor Rockies. That’s the team from Colorado, not Snacks Kinzie's Jamaica Bay Softball Team, who I love to read about in the Waldheim Report! Which is the reason I have to apologize to all of our fans who were expecting a longer ASR, which was cut short due to space in the sports section, for length of the Waldheim Report rivaled that of War and Peace.

Let’s get pleasantries and well wishes in gear…

Congratulations on the engagement of Tom Keegan and Ellen Lonergan. Happy birthday wishes go out to Tom Brasch, Jen Crawley, Brendan Moriarity, and last but not least, Poppa Dicko!

Congratulations on the birth of daughter Taylor Fay to parents Colleen Magill and Jim Tuohey.

We would also like to send good luck tidings To SJU Law School student, John "By The Book" Briody, also now known as "Huggy Bear". Res Ipsa Loquitur!

Now it's time to unleash some of our new wrinkles, no not Jerry Reen, but our own Rockaway version of "Survivor", with the same concepts.

Tribe number one will be the Tagi tribe = 1)The G Man 2)Bill Egan 3) Meatball 4)Jerry Reen 5)Fred Cornish 6)Maureen Murray 7)Lynn Tyghe 8)Anne Erhard.

Team two will be the Pagong
Tribe = 1)Richie O'Connor 2)Bernie Keegan 3)Frank Cummins 4)Big Daddy Whispers 5)Mike Friedman a.k.a. Bert 6)Heather Orlow 7)Ellen Lonergan 8)Marie McGoldrick.

We will be updating this series weekly and by next week will have
a website set, and an e-mail address for you the public to vote people off the island!

Next is the Chris "Mazz" O'Sullivan Roommate Search. The first candidate is Jerry "J Maas" O'Sullivan, Hobbies = darts, pool, keno, beer, drinking, and 6x hockey bets. Favorite foods = bar peanuts, bar chips, bar pretzels, pub menu appetizers, and whatever mom is cooking. Favorite sports teams and people = Islanders = Clark Gillies, Mets = Darryl Strawberry, Jets = Joe Klecko, NJ Nets = Michael Ray Richardson, Boxer = Gerry Cooney, Wrestler = Theadorable Adrian Adonis, Tennis = Venus Williams, Golf = John Daly.

Good luck Jerry, You will need it!

Our list of missing persons includes Wheaties of Bridie O's Fame; Tommy Ryan, who hates Rockaway; and the Miser of Atlanta, Georgia.

Here are the quotes of the week…

Sean McDonald on the beach: "I feel like Richard Dawson formerly of
the Family Feud hugging and kissing all that I see!"

The Tubridy family is like Gremlins, they just keep multiplying!

Also in related news Rob "I’m Not The Man McKnight" has alerted us that Rich Rocco Mikell has changed his name to Tubridy!

The Monday Crew, Rockaways number one organization, would like to give a shout-out to Tony, owner of the ‘84 Seville.

Well that’s all for this week. Here are things to come for next week: Bachelor of the Week, Darren
Coursey; applications rejected for Survivor; and much more.

Love, peace, and hair grease. Yours Truly… Mr.Met.


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