Waldheim Report On Softball
Its been a few weeks but I have returned with my poison pen, loaded with new and exciting news and garish tabloid journalism. All kidding aside, the rumors were untrue and retirement has not reared its ugly head. I am sad to report that I will no longer maintain the JBSL website. I ran short on time each week. It is still available online if you would like to view archived pictures and articles.
The Orioles went down with a fight this past week when they succumbed to the brawny Old Head bats, 10-9 and 6-3. According to a contributing writer:
In game one, Old Head quickly jumped out to a 9-2 lead, later erased when the Orioles came back
to tie the game at nine. Chris Doria hit what proved to be the game-winning home run in the bottom of
the fifth. Old Head offense was led by the middle of the order, combining for six RBI and four runs
scored. Steve Gonzalez was 2-3 with three RBI, two triples and two runs scored; Brendan O'Connor was
2-3 with two RBI, a double and two runs scored; Mike Casserly was 2-2 with an RBI. Winning pitcher
Todd Ames added a perfect day at the plate (3-3) with a RBI and a run scored.
Game two was knotted at three going into the sixth inning, when the Old Head went on to score three runs
to take a 6-3 lead. The Orioles threatened in the bottom of the seventh, loading the bases with two outs, but were unable to get the tying run across. Solid defense and timely hitting were key in Old Head victory. Jim Balfe led the defense with several stellar plays at first, ending a couple of would be Oriole rallies. Old Head hitting in the game was led by Pat Casserly (3-4) with a RBI; Gonzalez continued his torrid hitting going 2-4 with a double; M. Casserly was 2-4 with two triples, an RBI and a run scored. Winning pitcher Colm
Neilson continued his undefeated streak, as the Old Head have yet to lose with Colm on the mound, "hmmm...perhaps Ames should get used to bugging out in left field? ‘Whaaatt.’"
Back to Waldheim: Confused me too, but I did not write them, I just quote them.
In a poll conducted on the Orioles website the question was asked, "Why no Oriole Reports?" I currently have 40 percent of the votes, citing that the report’s author is upset about the end of my report. One contributor wrote in: "He never really wrote the article it was Waldheim the whole time, using a pen name." Cute, but entirely untrue.
The Brewers lost two games to the Big Dogs last Sunday (8-6 and 7-4), squelching their play-off hopes for 2000.
At Beach Channel (games re-located from Broad Channel due to flooded fields, please Rockaway residents, restrain your laughter) the Mudsharks took on the Cardinals in a long-awaited twin-bill. Local rivalry was expected between the island inhabitants, but this one was getting quite nasty. The Sharks won game one by a score of 6-4. Leading with his bat was Chris McCarthy (3-3), with Richie McCarthy and Gene Guittieri, both 2-3, contributed at the plate as well. Hitting a home run, spectators thought it should have been a long pop fly, Kenny Jackowski drove in three runs. Donald Keller K’d.
For the Cardinals, Timmy Hanning’s running prowess was hindered by Kevin Harnischer’s lack-there-of. Hanning made it home anyway (just barely) and was credited with a home run. Frustrated with calls, Leo Chavanne almost pulled down the umpire’s shorts. Please don’t take that the way it sounded. Brother Brian was 2-3 and Bubba had a triple. The Cardinals wished Matty "Pit bull/Mugger" Conklin a happy b-day.
Kevin "Stickman" Steininger (in uniform this week) claims he went 5-5 the week before and that he can still take down Kenny.
In game two the tides turned. The Cardinals had a huge inning, with a score of 13-2 in the fourth they were led by Butter (Steven Keller) and Fish (Chris James). Jackowski allowed Steven James (who also hit a triple) to get on base with an overthrow to first. Bystander Richie Doyle said of Steininger, "They just might get a big enough lead to let you play."
Leo Chavanne had two doubles in game two, while Grandpa Chavanne kept score and oh ya, he got a hit too.
The Mudsharks were able to score five runs with the help of Bobby Steiner (3-3), Kevin "watch out for kamikaze Joe Ernst" Gill and Gene Mohr. The final score, Cards win it 13-5.
In the next set, the Assassins swept the Rockies. Charlie "Silky Sweep" Kinzie suffered a black eye in a collision at third. Snacks fans should not fear the worst, Kinzie will be ready to battle in this Sunday’s play-offs. Who made the play-offs anyway?
Assassin Angel Arcentales (TripleA) was first to point out that his team took care of former Bryan’s Auto teammates turned adversaries Mike and Lee, "that was fun."
The Assassins were down 5-2 in the bottom of the seventh but came back. Led by a Bryan Sohl base hit, Angel followed with a ball that should've been a double play but was mishandled "by the rookies in the infield."
With the bases loaded, and no one out, Michael Arcentales barely missed fouling out. On the second pitch he hit yet another foul ball, and on his final attempt he hit a solid shot into left field, breaking the tie and winning the final regular season game 6-5. The Assassins went 17-7 in regular season play.
No other scores were available. I attempted to get the final standings but no luck. Anyone need a DH for the play-offs? I am sure the Yankees would be willing to lend you one of their surplus players. If you can’t win the World Series, buy it, right? Come on guys, even Torre is stumped. Well I hope to get in a few more post-season reports before this summer concludes. Good luck to all the post-season contenders, who ever you are.