2000-07-01 / Columnists

From The G-Man...by Gary Toms

From The G-Man

Too Radical You Say?

Hey people! I maintain an open line of communication with a number of people in Far Rockaway and the surrounding areas. Most of these people are storeowners, ministers, life-long residents and community activists.

After speaking with one of the local activists, something was revealed that I found to be quite amusing.

It seems that certain members of the Rockaway community, from local politicians to the average person on the street, feel that I am too radical in my approach when addressing major issues. "Oh, I can’t stand him! He’s so flamboyant!" "He’s one step away from grabbing a gun and blowing people away!" "He’s a wannabe Farrakhan!" These are some of the things being said about yours truly. Sniff, somebody pass me a Kleenex.

I want to take this opportunity to say how much I appreciate the comments of these people. Why? Hey, if I’m on someone’s mind so much that they feel the need to talk about me, I must be very important. Either that or the truth bug has managed to bite them where it hurts most. They can break out the ointment, start rubbing and go stand in a corner when they’re done for all I care.

To my understanding, the harshest critics consist of community leaders and elected officials. Oh, like that really surprises me! What puny life forms these critics are. They get all miffed at me, and for what? Is it because I constantly challenge you to make Far Rockaway a better place? Is it because I know how certain "sorryticians" are neglecting our youth and communities, or maybe you’re just angry because the G-man is so damn pretty! Whatever the reason, get over it, and be glad that I’m not standing on corners, in Black army fatigues, talking about burning down Far Rockaway or killing white people. Now that’s radical! Got it?

I exist because the system created me. I’m the Frankenstein of Far Rock, but I have a better tan. Eddie Murphy said it best, in the barroom scene from"48 Hours". He stated, "I’m your worst nightmare! I’m a n…r with a badge!" In my case, it’s a Black man with a pen! I entered the scene because of letters, phone calls and emails from hard working, law abiding and God fearing people, and they have expressed outrage over the false promises made by political and community leaders year after year. Since many of the local reps aren’t into returning phone calls, or emails, their constituents reach out to me for help. Now what does that tell you?

I know for a fact that many of you don’t return calls because I have tried to contact a number of you, and I’m still waiting. If I mess around waiting for you people, I’ll be old enough to purchase the supplemental life insurance that Lou Rawls is pitching. So, if you choose to berate me, or the column, just realize that you cannot do so without belittling the concerns of those you represent.

"Cheryl", the residents of Mott avenue, and I would like to know who was the "brainchild" that decided Far Rockaway needs another liquor store? If I’m not mistaken, this makes the fourth or fifth store within the surrounding area of Mott avenue! Here’s the funny part. All of these stores are in very close proximity to a rehab! What are people thinking? If it’s not liquor stores, it’s Chinese restaurants. You can’t find a clothing store to get a great shirt to give as a Christmas present, but you’d better believe you can find some chicken wings and pork fried rice. Then you can walk a block or two to get some Johnny Walker Black to wash it down. I’ve dusted off a very special "Jacky" for whoever thought this up. It’s a donkey with an ice bag on its’ head.

This next segment will determine if anyone out there really listens to my ideas. With all of the bad press the NYPD has gotten in recent weeks, I have come up with a few ideas on how to give them a better profile. They can start be firing whoever is in charge of public/media relations. Once that’s done, they can hire me to do the following:

1.Launch a positive image campaign by taking headshots of officers and placing them on buses, cabs and posters all over the five boroughs. These photos will list academic achievements, special talents (such as the martial arts, singing or DJ) and what their dreams are in life. For the obvious reasons, no one undercover would be displayed.

2. Take out full page adds in major newspapers, like the New York Times, denouncing rogue cops, like Justin Volpe and Francis Livoti, and state, unequivocally, that the NYPD will continue to work toward eliminating such people from the force to win public confidence. They never do it, and for the sake of the good officers, it’s time to start.

3. Initiate the NYPD Talent Showcase, which will be performed annually at Madison Square Garden or Radio City Music Hall. This is the chance for officers to truly shine and bond with the public.

Those are just a few ideas that I think could make a huge difference in bridging any gaps between the public and the NYPD. I wish I could find someone that needs an idea man. I would make a lot of money.

I had the opportunity to chat online with P.O. Don Morgan last week. I want to let you people know that based on the conversation we had, I know there are really good cops out there. You have your share of bad ones, and you always will. However, in order for the great ones, like Don Morgan, to thrive in this city, it is paramount that some "housecleaning" takes place within the NYPD. That’s not a rip on them. It’s a plea.

Hit me at

Mapel2000@aol.com, and I’ll see you next week!


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