2000-06-24 / Sports

THE ORIOLE REPORT: 8-5 Win Against The Brewers

By Theo Baxter
THE ORIOLE REPORT: 8-5 Win Against The Brewers By Theo Baxter


8-5 Win Against The Brewers

One week after forfeiting a doubleheader to the Grassy's Muggers, the
Orioles had low expectations for their match-up with the Brewers. Just
fielding a team would be a moral victory. But when Captain Den-Den took the official head count 20 minutes before game time and came up with a dozen Birds, the team was charged up to take the field. The 13 Orioles were now looking for real victories.

In game one, Denny Mack was forced to take the mound, since Disk Jockey Theodore pulled a no-show. He kept the O's in the game, allowing only four runs heading into the sixth inning. But Brewer pitcher Pat Malloy hit a bases-clearing triple during the five-run rally, and then kept the Birds' bats in check on the way to a 9-2 victory for the Brew Crew.

For the second game, Captain Den-Den switched things up defensively. He moved "Dart Boy" Bobby Keating to first base and Dr. Riota to second,
assembling the smallest right side of the infield since the 1992 Stella Maris JV squad. Schmitty moved to right-center while Mack put himself in the LC slot and gave O'Neill the start on the hill. The new hurler battled illness and occasional control problems, but managed to hold the vaunted Brewer offense to only five runs. Great diving catches by Mack and Schmedly; clutch double plays from the "mini-infield"; and good plate blocking by Owen backed
O'Neill up.

Meanwhile, the offense led by New Guy, Bill and Joe Theis, Trooper and Roohan came through with clutch hits to give the Orioles their second win of the season, 8-5. The victory did not come without a price. After the games, both Ross and Dr. Riota were seen limping around Connolly's. Trooper's wrist was sore from an outfield collision, but fortunately he was able to hold his Dewar's in his other hand. "Banged Up" Bobby iced down his knee while the Belly had to prop up his leg while eating crabcakes at the Circle. Team doctor and masseuse Sully ordered the players to have a couple of Connolly's Pink Lemonades this Saturday night in order to be in playing shape for this Sunday's contests versus the Big Dogs. Once again, the games are scheduled for the Boulevard field at Riis Park, with a 10 a.m. start. Most fans are invited to attend. Afterwards the Birds will drink the $120 keg back at Curran's.

Questions of the Week:

-How long until "New Guy" becomes "Guy"?

-How do the Orioles manage to get 21 players for the Mudshark games, and only five for the Muggers two weeks later?

-Did Flipper really go out and buy four pet ducks?

-Did Laker John Salley really say that it was OK the L.A. fans were
rioting the other night "because, hey, they haven't won a championship in 12 years"?

-Is there a better umpiring team than Chopper and Chris?

-Will Dawson and Joey ever find true love?

-What song will Sully perform first at Karaoke next Sunday, July 2, at
the Circle?

-Has FSU scholar (there's an oxymoron) and snow bunny Mark Damon returned to Channel 2 news yet?

-Did Roost-O really think "The Green Mile" was based on a true story?

-Whose awful idea was "Questions of the Week"?

News & Notes:

After his accurate prediction about the May WWF PPV (the Undertaker's return), Chanalana is whipping out his crystal balls and boldly forecasting Kurt Angle to be the King of the Ring tournament winner. It's true. When asked why he thinks the former U.S. Olympic hero will win it all, the Miser launched into a long-winded explanation that would bore non-wrestling fans and wrestling fans alike.....

Good to see Reverend Al and most of the media manage to blame the Central Park mayhem on the NYPD. The funniest part is Dinkins ripping Rudy for his "inaction." Is he the same guy who was busy playing tennis while Crown Heights burned?

Staying on the NYPD tip, why is it that most of the people who think that all NYPD cops should be required to live in the city are the same people supporting carpetbagger Hillary for the Senate?

And finally....

Longtime San Diego Padre outfielder Tony Gwynn recently announced that he is opening a number of Church's Chicken restaurants in the S.D. area, in order to provide jobs for those neighborhoods. In a related story, longtime Oriole infielder Mike Belly plans to eat regularly at the new Crown Chicken on 116 street, ensuring an economic boost for the Rockaway community.

For all the news and views on softball, chicks, politics and fried chicken places you could possibly want, check us out on the web at www.eteamz.com/Orioles2000.

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