Graybeard Hoops Jim Dunn Scores 47 In Amazing First Half
In Amazing First Half
Okay, okay. So he didn’t score 47 in the first half. But it seemed like he did and since as my man Shaft recently reminded me---this is Giuliani time---perception is more important than reality. Either way you filet it, Jimmy Dunn of the Blues Cruise scored enough points in the first half last week to have fans speaking of him in only the most heavenly way. Like how the Black Hole suddenly turned Supernova. Like how this mere moon was suddenly the Big Planet.
Often quite happy to be just another orb circling around the alleged stars, Jack Meade and Mark Cannon, Dunn proved to a galaxy of wide-eyed fans that he could be the Big Planet or the Big Dipper when needed. With the two alleged stars out of action, Dunn delivered astronomical numbers as he sparked his undermanned and underappreciated teammates to a resounding win over the ever-diminishing squad led by a bunch of fading legends too humiliated to mention here.
Dunn was a shooting star but he didn’t eclipse other members of the enterprise. After some, shall we say, sub-par performances through the first few weeks, the kindest thing being said about Peter Brady was that he looked good---for a corpse. We don’t know if it was the first appearance of his sister-in-law, the dazzling Helen Brady, or the fact that the team was missing its two-headed monster (read: Meade, Cannon) but Peter pulled a Lazarus and rose from the basketball junk pile to pop in 22 points.
The glory didn’t stop with Dunn and Brady. Whopper Armstrong logged big minutes, grabbed bigger rebounds, and set the biggest picks as he dominated the middle. Trusty GI Joe Farrell climbed out of the same place as Pete Brady and quarterbacked this suddenly cohesive unit to perfection. Billy Nolan and Ed Cashen found themselves with the ball once in a while---unlike in weeks’ past----and delivered. Big time.
This game would’ve been really ugly had Steve Stathis not banged in not one, not two, but three threes thereby supplying the only highlights for the White Castles. The Castle did come away with one positive: they have, by themselves, sole possession of last place.
We keep waiting for Super Dan Leary to have an off-night so we can rip him to shreds but it doesn’t look like that’ll be happening anytime soon. When he’s not hooping it up he’s taking spinning classes; when he’s not spinning he’s lifting; when he’s not lifting he’s eating rocks and nails. Unless somebody slips this guy some kryptonite the league is doomed to a repeat of last year when he led his squad to long-sleeve glory. The only thing we can do is hope. And give him the evil eye behind his back.
Leary’s Green Machine coasted past the Lemon Maroon Pies who were short John Cosgrove and Sean O’Leary. Though that might not have mattered because Green got their best game of the year from the new kid on the block, Suntan Dan Edwards, aka Jocko, aka Sunny, aka Skipper, aka Buoy Head (a new favorite). The Sunshine Boy popped in a three pointer, a dipsy-do in the lane, and played nutty professor defense. Farmer McCann joined Edwards in a superb performance, hitting a number of key jumpers. Joe Camel, uh, Joe Kenel, earned a sweat by trying to outshoot Leary.
The Red Rabbits took on McCool and the Gang in the night’s middle game with both teams feeling comfy about their chances. Oddsmakers had this one figured early, however. Once it was established that McCool had a full team, the odds swung heavily in Red’s favor. It’s no easy feat squeezing eight men in a game. Not when your squad is packed with talent and worse---guys who don’t want to come out of the game. But they’ll work it out. Or they better. Because when they’re bad, they’re very, very bad.
They fell behind 31-10 and spent the rest of the game playing catch up. They did a commendable job as they closed to with four but didn’t have enough to get over the Phil the hump and soon watched Red run off into the sunset. And run Red does or do.
Now sporting a nifty 4-1 record the Rabbits are alone at the top in first. They’re a cocky bunch, these Rabbits. They dismiss league historians who remind them that no team has ever finished first in the regular season and then gone on to win the long sleeve T. It’s not that they don’t have reason to be cocky. They’ve got Dr. J and LHG (that’s Joel Mirrer and Long Haired George to the uninformed) to do the scoring and rebounding and a handful of nice supporting players in Kevin Kelleher and Billy Collins.
They’re the red rabbits now…but will they turn out to have been nothing more than Red Herrings?
Rim shots: He would’ve been disbarred and disrobed had the refs witnessed the Judge sticking out his gavel to deliver a legwhip on Tommy Carroll in last week’s action. Sometimes you gotta watch out for the innocent guys suddenly turning psycho.
After airballing two shots from the foul line in the first half, Jack (I swear the second one caught rim) Weber was in great position to set an all-time record but wisely stayed off he foul line in the second half.
The half-season party: we don’t write about that stuff here….was a great success. Thanks to the crew at The Wharf for doing a great job….those Graybeards who didn’t show are on double secret probation. They’ve got a lot to prove. Even Jimmy Roberts showed and he’s retired. Even Kevin Boyle showed and he’s sick of looking at the Graybeards. Even the refs showed. And everybody hates them.
The word in the bleachers: The league was a lot more competitive when Bobby Bruns played.
Beach party: July 15.