Waldheim Report On Softball
By Corinne Waldheim
Determination. What else could describe how these men trek back from a wild wedding upstate the night before, crawl on hands and knees from the bar they just left to play softball every Sunday? In the summer, these guys eat, sleep, drink, and drink, and oh yes drink softball. Trooper was the true example today when, during a pitching change, he headed back to the dugout to crack another brewsky. Van Gundy would not be pleased and Bobby Knight might have gone Hannibal Lecter on him.
Let's rewind to the early games where the Muggers met with the Daggers for what should be considered one of the league's more level playing fields. In game one Matt Salica shined with some excellent defense at shortstop. As Itchy approached the plate for his first at bat, Dagger pitcher George called his outfielders in and yelled, "Remember this is Itchy guys, not Babe Ruth."
Jimmy Trudden hit a triple and was followed by Tommy Brasch with a RBI single. The barrage continued with singles from Cheeks and John Hartel. Daggers right fielder Mike is still picking dirt out of hit eyes, ears and nostrils after diving for Hartel's foul ball. In the bottom of the fourth Joey Doyle struck out. Bo Malone had a 2 RBI sacrifice in the fifth to increase the Mugger lead to 7-1.
In the sixth the Daggers woke up; Woody singled in a run, Tommy picked a soft-liner and turned a double play.
Hartel was in trouble with the bases loaded but Salica made the play at second, squelching the Dagger rally, 7-4.
In the top of the seventh Hartel (3-3) hit a single. Billy hit a line drive down the line. With runners on first and third Salica hit a two-run triple.
In the movie Independence Day President Whitmore said, "We will not go quietly into the night...we will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!" The Daggers could have used some of that positive energy as Richie, Joey and Mike popped out, grounded out and flied out, respectively. Final Score: Muggers 9, Dagger 4.
Game two the tides began to turn as the Daggers entered the second half of the seventh leading 7-3. After many base hits Mugger Rob Gallagher tied the game and Matt Salica sealed the deal and stole the win with a sac fly.
The mouse (Kenny Rat) was a no show as Hartel added, "The mouse took one on the chin for the team. According to Malone, "Jimmy Trudden's little piggy went to the market and he could not play game two."
Details have not been settled on whether Chope will claim Luann Hanning (Itchy lost her to him in a bet last week). Chope was too busy getting abused in Rockaway. Hanging his retired jersey in effigy the Orioles spilled blood in the water and were prepared for a shark attack.
As I came onto the scene, the Mudshark/Oriole melee, Trooper informed me that the Mudsharks had already scored a touchdown. Thinking he was confused I corrected his terminology and informed him that he was not in IONA anymore. I later found out that what he meant was the Mudsharks scored seven in the first inning, so Troop I owe you an apology. The Orioles answered back with one run. DenDen was shot down at the plate by Donald Keller, who K'd but made up for it later when he caught a hard hit Bill Theis liner and doubled S-U-L-L-Y "are you human" Sullivan at first.
Chope did his best not to succumb to the heckling of his old crew but committed a few errors in the field and later struck out. By the third inning the birds had hit nine singles off the fatigued pitcher. Kenny Jackowski, who was unusually quiet today, showed some defensive flare in the infield to the chagrin of Fun Bobby.
In the fifth inning, the Mudsharks scored eight more runs as Chris, Bobby, Sledge, Donald, and Joey Ernst (double) helped the cause. Gene attempted to extend a triple into a HR but got thrown out at the plate. The score was now 15-4.
Brand spanking Oriole addition Brian "the new guy" DenDenscousin was 2-3 with a triple. One Oriole was heard from the sidelines, "Hey new guy! Find nine of your friends and put them on the team." He would go on to hit a HR in the second game.
Schmitty added, "Watching Kenny Jackowski and Richie McCarthy chase that ball was my best Oriole memory to date."
Game one ended 16-6, a mercy. Since when did the 10-run mercy rule go into affect?
In game two, Schmitty hit a double. Den Den was a little disoriented during one play when he ran in with the ball yelling "time out, time out."
A few of the guys informed him he could not do this while the runner is in motion. Go figure. Next week Tara will play in his place. Gene finally got his home run and in the bottom of the fifth the score was 7-1.
JW was inserted into the line-up in game two. He replaced DJ Teddy on the mound and walked his first batter, Chope. When JW came up to bat in the next inning, the entire Mudshark team was called into the infield. Ernst (the shortstop) caught the dribbler in front of the mound, soft-tossed it to Steiner (standing between Ernst and first base) who then tossed it to Mugsy for the put out at first. For anyone keeping the book that was a 6-3-4 put out. Final score, 9-1.
On the boulevard field the Assassins swept the Blackwater Freakshow, 4-0 and 8-1 or 6-0 and 7-1 depending on who you speak to. "If they had a team of ME we would have won today," said John Burke. He added that the Assassins had very good defense.
Some guy was pitching for the Assassins (the same one who always pitches for the Assassins and has a reaaaaaally low ERA) but I forgot his name. Lou "Bam Bam" Musto struck out. Fan Lisa Vaccaro said, "how do you strike out in softball?" He did make a "perfect throw to third."
Danny Jackowski, after taking his first collar last week, hit a grand slam to break the game open. Next week, the Assassins play the Muggers to determine bar bragging rights. John Fabry and anyone else in the vicinity insisted that Filthy Phil must not be quoted in this article.
Black Water Old Head won its first game of the season, beating Curran's Big Dogs by a score of 9-2. Winning pitcher Todd Ames was 3-3 with 2 RBI; Mike Brenna made his debut with two RBI in the game, while Chris Doria added an RBI and scored two runs. Steve Gonzalez flashed some leather and added 2 RBI at the plate.
"Team hitting and solid defense were the key elements in the first Black Water Old Head victory of the season," as written on the Old Head website, www.rack.homepage.com. The Big Dogs won 7-1 in the first game.
The Cardinals split with the Misfits this week, losing 9-8 in the first and winning 9-2 in the second.
The Rockies split with the Brewers. They mercied the Brewers in game one, 11-1. In game two the Brewers bounced back winning 5-2. Clutch hitting by Snoopy, John Ward, T-Bone, and Tyrone.
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The Cardinals have off this week. Here is the rest of the schedule:
B.C. 10 /11:15 a.m. -- Mudsharks vs. Rockies; 12:30/1:45 p.m. -- Muggers vs. Assassins.
Blvd. 10/11:15 a.m. -- Round Balls vs. Orioles; 12:30/1:45 p.m. -- Freak Shows vs. Old Head.
Open 10/11:15 a.m. -- Daggers vs. Brewers; 12:30/1:45 p.m. Mis Fits vs. Big Dogs.