Waldheim Report On Softball
By Corinne Anne Waldheim
All right already! Stop the madness! The season has not even begun and already the league has experienced a shake up. The Old Timers have bowed out; forcing Commissioner Bob Steiner to redraft the schedule and pushing back the start date to May 7. Come on Bob, crack that whip! I have to ask Bobby Regan what happened…I get the feeling that oxygen prices went up right around the time gas did and that was the deciding factor. Another sad note, barrels of beer will now cost $120 per double header, yikes inflation.
This is all good news for me who has been a little lax on getting the article out the last few weeks, and I have been reminded of this repeatedly, thanks. Speaking of those good Samaritans: Congrats to Joey Ernst who has not made any infield errors this year and is batting a thousand. Of course league play has not begun yet either.
In other league news, the Assassins have joined forces with Bryan’s Auto to become a force to be reckoned with. Promising fierce competition and resilience, this team is chock full of unique personalities and offbeat playing style. Spectators are in for a real treat as several are sure to stir the pot. Bob Steiner, Diver and John Didio of the Cardinals have been put on notice by one vocal team player (anyone care to place a wager on whom?). "I think the players who have remained will compliment each other well," said Danny of the new Assassins.
One Cardinal player (or maybe groupie) was seen carrying his girlfriend’s pocketbook last weekend, what a well-trained lad he is.
In Mudshark news, Kevin Gill has decided to stay with his old friends instead of defecting to the Muggers. I have to give the Gill family credit for their dancing skills at the Country Western Dance last Saturday night…great outfits too! Congratulations to Best Dressed Couple winners Tiger Theis Jr. and Chope. Your outfits were great as well. Scott Randall took the cake in his leopard designer cowboy hat.
Charlie Kinzie has settled with the Rockies. He was given the esteemed honor of being named one of the best athletes in Rockaway by buddies John Fabares (sp.?) and Mike Coogan. I don’t remember what it was I said but Coogan’s response was, "Put your sleazy tabloid mind to rest young lady." Anyone for a lemon drop shot? So did the Blackwater get brighter? Just wondering because it seems a little less murky in there lately.
Earlier reports of all games being played in Rockaway were greatly exaggerated…one Broad Channel field "might" be available and if not all games being played at "BC" will be at Beach Channel.
Dicko has informed (threatened/warned) me that his report’s return is immanent. Be prepared for scandal and lawsuits.
My preferred mode of game transportation this summer will be my bike (well maybe forced is the proper term). Seems the old Cougar has blown a gasket. I tried to fix it myself but then Wally (AKA dad, but he doesn’t answer to that) informed me that banging on it with a crow bar would not fix the problem, go figure. Contrary to website guestbook entries, Wally will not be back. The Marina team will not come out of retirement and I sadly probably won’t be on a roster.
I hope the weather gets better because I could swear Mother Nature is on the payroll of every hospital in NYC.
It looks like MasterCard will become an advertising partner with the JBSL this season. The ad will read:
"One official Jamaica Bay softball ... $9."
"The cost of a summer-long supply of OFF to keep the ticks away when players go chasing the longball into the weeds…$24."
"DJ Teddy getting hit over the head with a bag of hay... Priceless. There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MasterCard."
I will be out of town next weekend in Indianapolis so hopefully my beat reporters (Jodi, Valerie, Nicole, Kelly, and Keren) will pick up the slack. As mentioned in the last article, weekly profiles will be done on players who give their all (or bribe me). Photos might be taken so dress your best.
Check out the Jamaica Bay Softball Website for all league news, schedules, standings and photos at www.eteamz.com/jamaicabay. All comments and league news should be sent to me at Corinne-Waldheim@aol.com. I must stress that I cannot make all the games and depend on player feedback to report all the latest team news.