1999-07-17 / Columnists

From the G-Man

No More Mr. Nice Guy
by Gary G. Toms

Hey people! I have been told, by some of the readers of this column, that my style has changed. They say that I’ve become "watered down" in my writing. They say I no longer have that "bite" that was once so prominent in my column. Well, have no fear because the G-man’s back with a real vengeance. I admit that I have indeed let certain people influence what I write, but that crap is going to stop as of now. So without further delay, let me start to take chunks out of a few peoples’ butts!

The first victims of my attack are those idiots who were splashing cars,

and police officers, last week in the Hammels Housing Projects. Yes, it was hot, but there was no reason for nonsense like that. It’s people like that who make the decent people in Hammels look bad. Also, it is because of such stupid behavior that police officers view certain communities the way they do. No wonder they fear responding to calls in our neighborhoods. I wish I could line all of the people up who were responsible for these actions, and give them all a good swift kick in the rear! Opening fire hoses, tossing pails at cars and drenching people may seem like one big joke to some, but one day, somebody’s going to get hurt as a result of an angry victim. I don’t care if it’s Hammels, Arverne, Edgemere, Redfern or the Forties Projects, stop acting like a bunch of "hoody" jackasses.

Last week I blasted The NAACP, National Urban League and National Action Network, and this week each organization managed to garner headlines in most of the newspapers. I see they are trying to be more active and forthright in their attempts to challenge those in powerful positions. I wonder if they somehow got word that a certain columnist was calling them out for their non-responsiveness regarding certain issues. Whatever the case, it’s nice to see them speaking out on some major problems in this society, and I still expect a call from each of you at some point in the future. Don’t make me come down there!

The next thing I want to say may not come as a total surprise to many of you. JFK Airport is the worst airport in the country! I recently went there to drop off my friend, and her son, to hop a flight to California. I wanted to accompany them to the gate, but I was told I had to get a visitors’ pass. To make a long story short, they had me going all over the airport for this stupid pass, and I ended up getting nothing. To make matters worse, I never got to say goodbye them because they boarded the plane before I could get back. So to all of those bone-heads who made me run around for nothing, here’s a big, fat "heeee-haaaaw" for you silly morons. Put someone in charge that knows what the hell they’re doing.

I have so much more to say, but I’ll hold off for the next issue. I’ve also been told to scale down my articles. Man, I hate being told what to do. Once a rebel, always a rebel. If I can get one last one in, I just want to say how much I hate the Mets. Don’t make too much of that recent victory against the Yankees. The Yankees are my team, but I don’t see them in the World Series. It will probably be a repeat of the ‘86 World Series, and Boston will finally win one by defeating the Mets. Come to think of it, I hate Boston too. It’s part of a state that was first to institute slavery. Hey Boston…..bite me!

See you next week.


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