1999-07-10 / Columnists

Boyle-ing Points

by Kevin Boyle
For all you Derek Jeter fans miffed by the fact that he won’t be the starting shortstop in this year’s Major League Baseball All-Star game please take a deep breath and recall who started last year?

Was it Jeter? Was it Alex Rodrigues? Or Omar Vizquel?

Who knows?! Who started at first? Who was the starting pitcher?

Who cares?

It’s true that rubes in other cities have little to do but stuff all-star ballot boxes and New York fans are generally too blasé’ to do the same (thank God for that) and as a result New York players get stiffed every once in a while. But the only thing lamer than stuffing ballot boxes is whining about the results. If we New Yorkers are gonna be too cool to vote for all-stars can we be consistent and act like we don’t care the all way through?

I did some ballot stuffing of my own but Fay Vincent or whoever the hell is commissioner tossed out my votes.

As for my ballot, I wrote in Ryan Roberts for first base and pitcher. Although he just finished seventh grade he should be playing in Fenway instead of Fort Tilden. The lanky lefty lead his team to the Major Division title in the Rockaway Little League with a furious fastball and with frequent over the fence flyers.

Of course, Marty Andresen should throw out the first ball. After three months of hearing how terrible his is, Marty got a standing O from parents and players last week when he declared co-champions in the Minor Division. Although Boyle-ing Point fans know I hate the "everybody’s a winner" mentality that rewards all participants in sporting events, Marty’s to be congratulated for a good call. After two teams, Sammy’s Variety and the Lichtenstein Lions split the first two games of a best of three series they faced a one game showdown—but that wasn’t so simple. There was talk of playing a doubleheader but lava hot weather (and what-are-you-crazy parents) put the kibosh on any such thought. After it was determined that it would be at least a week before the teams could play Marty proposed a co-championship. Who could argue with that approach when kids from both team whooped it up and the parents poured Gatorade all over each other in celebration of not having to bake in Tilden until next year.

Good call, Marty!

Boyle-ing Points:

The Wave encourages all residents to contact us by email (thewave@poboxes.com) but with such an open mailbox policy we do get some junk. Today’s cybermail brought an ad about ordering Viagra online. I don’t know but that seems to be something you’d want right away. You know, you’d want Domino’s to deliver it---30 minutes, hurry!---you don’t want to wait for Sunny the FedEx man arriving two days later (long after the urge and opportunity have passed).

*Gadfly Sal Arena, feeling better these days, called to complain about a photo in The Wave. It seems the paper was encouraging kids to climb on Whaleamena. Sal, guardian of all papier-mache that comes way of Central Park, was right on the money. Folks, keep off the damn, whale. It’s sensitive (and if you read the signs: dangerous).

*Don’t call me if you want to complain about Howie Schwach’s column about public schools. He writes that parents who spend "$5000 on parochial schools might be alarmed because they believe those (public) schools provide an inferior education (yet the reading scores don’t bare that out).

In many cases, I’d say, those parents acknowledge that public schools do a comparable job (as far as reading scores) but they factor in safety and community. They like the idea that their kids go to a school which they might read about---but don’t experience----metal detectors. They like the idea that their private schools offer not only sports programs but things like family bike rides, and school plays, picnics, and card parties and "spaghetti" parties. It’s not just about reading.

Howie’s got his point of view---amazingly narrow for someone who espouses the broad wonders of the public school experience.

And you know, Howie, he likes to say the numbers don’t count (unless they bolster his argument) because education is so much more than numbers. How true! And that’s why some parents choose private schools! By the way, we won’t see Howie use a combination of numbers. We’ll never see him combine reading and safety.

**Where have you gone, Kevin DiMaggio? Jerry Ray of Affordable Auto, says I’ve lost my fastball and have offered nothing controversial for weeks. He says it’s a toss-up between Boyle-ing Points and Soap Talk in the TV section for most boring column. You think it’s bad, Jerry? I have to watch for typos so I have to read this twice.

**Neanderthals in the midst: Roman candles and all those fireworks that light up the sky look great. But has anybody ever come up with an explanation what enjoyment Joey Bag-a-donuts gets out of lighting off a mat of firecrackers?


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