1999-06-26 / Sports

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Dicko: Too Much Time On His Hands

Well, NASCAR weekend at the Pocono 500, has once again come and gone about as quick as it took Rusty Wallace to blow a tire, hit the wall in turn number 1, and end his day seven laps in to the 200 lap race at long pond. The eventual winner of the caution filled race was Bobby Labonte, driving for team owner Joe Gibbs who is a big favorite of everyone’s favorite clown, Krusty, Eddie Kennedy, also known as Bubby’s little brother.

This years trip consisted of seven speed happy, Winnebago loving, tire burning, heavy drinking, hick friendly bunch divided into two campers, The chateau and skid row. Camper chateau consisted of John (Juicy] Ward, Jamie (roundhead) Bartolotta, Tom (Tara's husband) Brasch, and behind the wheel Brian (the artist formerly known as) Dickesheid. Camper skid row, appropriately named, consisted of Mike (Booms) Horan, also now known as horny Mike, Jamie (Handyman) Lynch, and last but not least our gourmet chef for the weekend, the driver of team skid row Bobby (fun Bob) Conti. A great time was had by all! As always with this trip or anything else run in this town there were plenty of no shows, You know, oh yeah that sounds great I would love to go put me down, then when it’s time to pay the piper, or in this case the clown, and the fun guy they are nowhere to be found, As always its a thankless job! Well that’s enough whining.

Here is a list of the no-shows and there reasons. Pepe Perrone- he had a leather ball surgically removed from his mouth. Feel better you crazy kid….Kevin Coursey-he stated that he had too many weddings and parties to attend, The price of fame-ha-ha,….Tim O'Brien- was alerted to the fact there would be no tolerance for disgusting acts so was forced to withdraw….Mike Ormiston -was busy learning new fire techniques.…but the rumor mill has it his new girlfriend, which is his long time ex-girlfriend would not allow the trip—you be the judge and jury. Mike Killer Kelly----really had no reason, We will investigate and get back to you on this. Charlie Arnao----we would not let him attend! Billy Lavin----wanted to attend but the all the brew crew members bailed. Rich (Rocco) Mikell----had to attend the last supper at Pier-92, with Kailen…..Tom Keegan-after hearing girlfriend Ellen would not be going away for the weekend. The inseparable couple decided to rent love movies all weekend long! Mike (516) Cori-still rumored to be working on his dream house. Dennis Reen-somehow came up with another phantom injury. Evin (Cadillac) Anderson-saw Austin Powers for the fifth time. Jimmy Bullock-bought the popcorn and soda at the movies.

This summers hat party will now be run by arch-enemies, Handy man Lynch-and John Juicy Ward. The two certifiables are pretty handy with kitchen knives. Anyone for a game of cards? Watch your hat! Free Coors Light here get your free Coors Light….compliments of Garry Bussey or as I call him, Handyman Lynch. As most of you know due to injury this is my first year not associated with Jamaica bay softball in a long-long time, I will say that I am enjoying my free time---which I do have a lot of. I have been reading the web pages to keep up to date, That is the Waldheim report, which I like to refer to as the Broad Channel Report, or the runners-up report. Ouch! And the Oriole Report, which is amusing because it is a bite-off of the ASR, aka---the bar report or the gossip column, which we had perfected. But seriously, both do a good job and you should check them out!

I have yet to attend any games so I don’t know all that much of what has transpired, But I do know this: Fear the Brewers! And it seems like our friends the Publicans have forfeited out of the league, that is the Publicans of Jamesons, who did not have the decency or cohonas to tell there sponsor of last year thanks but we will be playing somewhere else! I guess the league was no longer appealing without the foregone conclusion of losing to the retired for the moment Pirates, who by the way are issuing a challenge to the league all stars for a money game.

Dagger update relief pitcher Wendell Wooten has struck out twice swinging in five at bats this season, On the hill he has fanned none. On learning of the Pirates’ challenge, Roy Schaeffer will be taking odds on the game.

On to bigger things, well that is because it pertains to larger than your average breadbox Brian (Milk) Goggin, who gave himself the nickname milk because he says he is good for a woman’s body. Smells a little sour to me, try skim! Mr. Dellwood has returned to the paddleball circuit after a recent tantrum of breaking his paddle and storming off in a rage after getting spanked by the incomparable Tim Perrone, who is now ruling the courts after ruling the fields of Jamaica bay. Goggins’s fine is to be teamed up with fellow brother Mike King, who was in retirement for all around bad play. Gotta run but here is what to look forward to for next week, Frank Walker’s return to the summer classic, rugby sevens news, Looking for love, an in depth interview with bouncer\actor Dutch Green, DJ Teddy, my life after the
Circle and a new wrinkle things that annoy us or should I say, me.


The B-Man Not A Bitter Man!

Also for all baseball fans, The Irish Circle will be running a sweet trip on Sunday July 11, to Shea stadium, Mets vs. Yanks, 1:40 game includes bus, 72 person terrace suite, Unlimited food and drink all day! See bartender for details it will sell fast!

Send comments and info to Dicko29@aol.com or Dickoasr@aol.com.



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